Thursday, April 30, 2009
I try to do all I can to help all who ask of me. I really love to serve in many ways. I lately have not been myself. I have not felt well for almost 3 weeks. I have not been able to do the things I like to do. I haven't helped at the girls school like I do. I haven't done things for my family like I should. I have been an awful wife, mom & visiting teacher this month. I am not used to feeling this way. I haven't even wanted to do my blog. Because of not feeling well physically I am also not doing so well emotionally. I feel really depressed and down because I have had to put things on hold. Today was the first day in a few weeks I felt more myself. I felt happy. It is hard sometimes having my husband gone at work, then when I think he will be home on the weekend he has other plans that don't include me or the kids. I get sad and mad. That is how the last 3 weekends have been for me. I guess I am just selfish. I just love being with my husband. Although I don't blame him for not wanting to be with me lately I have been so mean. I know that when I feel this way I just need to do more so I don't feel so useless. I am so thankful for my mom and sisters who have helped me the last few week. They have watched my kids and picked them up from school because I felt so awful. I hope I am out of the slump. I went to the doctors and had some test done. I am starting to feel better physically. It is just the dumb mental part. I really wish when I start to get depressed there was something that could let me know. Like if you are getting a cold you might start to sneeze a bunch. But when you start to have a bout of depression where is the warning?
Posted by reneecjhee at 6:49 PM